Gone are the days i unfriended friends(on facebook) just to teach them a lesson about keeping in touch .. cos frankly speaking when they did realise i wasnt on their friend's list .. theyd jus PM me sayin dun be a prick. N in return id be like .. you know what if you want me to add u back why dun you tell me whats goin on in your life like actual "friends" do .. what the point in being another number on your fb .. when you dont care.
So called friends didnt bother to respond. Kept seeing their fb request to be my friend everyday. Mind you i have a handful of friends .. the number literally cudnt cross 10 people .. n im puttin up a drama for one o these 10 ppl ..
It doesnt matter to these friends anymore ... n im like 1 life .. big shit .. n add d person back to my friends list.
Im in that place where nobody gives the slightest damn about me.. not even my partner. So yup. I cried all day yesterday thinkin .. that was all i ever wanted in life .. to be loved .. or at least to feel im loved.. or can make a difference in just that one person's life. However.. im a nobody to anybody.
I cried n howled n wailed till i cudnt breathe.. i was told God does things for a reason. Think im understandin .. God knows me too well .. to give me what i want .. love.
I dont see myself as anythin apart from my love/partner.. twas always the case. Id drown myself in the other person .. forget all reason .. jus like a drug .. to keep me alive ..
It sounds so unhealthy. Maybe thats why i stand here - the solitary man .. to make something of myself. Nobody respected my voice .. my opinions to stick around .. n so today i feel isolated. Its a good thing i was living the wrong doctrine ..
We are all for ourselves.
Im not gonna ask why any more .. take what God has given me .. i.e. myself .. probably put myself to His use. In the end .. i think at least that will make me happy.
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